think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
