White coat. Heels.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
