That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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