I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
