dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
