How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize