all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
