I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he thought i was a dude.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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