I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
