i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
