found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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