That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
