He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
