Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
