drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
