I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
