I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
