I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
