So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
