The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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