i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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