remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
