Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
