What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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