Nicole vs. Life
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
