wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
