I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
