Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
