Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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