Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
