and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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