so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
