Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
