Don't make out with my wife yet
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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