Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
