The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
