she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
