p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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