He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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