peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
