my soul wont recognize me after tonight
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
