You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
