I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
