Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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