I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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