We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize