You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
