I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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