strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
