her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize