I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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