help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We have started to decorate penises.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
