why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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