i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
