Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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