He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
