he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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